Let the Ship Sink (Insisting Voice)

There’s a voice in me

It doesn’t shout

It just says the same thing

Let the ship sink

Maybe that’s what freedom looks like

Silence

Wreckage

No weight

Just the stillness after

A painting of a sinking ship

Nothing moving

Nothing left to hold

You go into storms like you were born in them

Every sea turns violent

You throw yourself in like you belong there

Like you’re some great whale

But you’re not

You bleed

And you can’t swim

Still it’s something to watch

The way you keep going

There’s beauty in it

The kind that breaks things

No one told me strength meant silence

That holding everyone together

Would tear me apart

It’s not a badge

It’s a slow death

I keep saying it’s not my job

Not to fix it

Not to carry it

Save yourself I whisper

But the weight doesn’t move

Because saving them

Is how I survive

Even if I don’t

I’ve left pieces of myself in everything I loved

Walk through this ship

And you’ll find my heart in the beams

In the floor

In the sails

I built this with love

That’s why it hurts

But I always knew

This heart wasn’t made for land

It’s too wild

Too free

So the sea comes for it

And still the voice returns

Let the ship sink

I want to

God I want to

But there’s something it doesn’t know

I’m the captain

And if this ship goes down

It takes my heart with it